Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Unfortunately.. me!

I am dumb when it comes to people and relationships.
People actually do bad things to me and then all they need to is to smile or talk nicely to me once and my heart melts.. just for it to be repeated all over again!
This unfortunately is ME! and no matter what I do I just cannot rise above this.
Why do I get hurt at such small things and if I do get hurt why and how in the world do I forgive someone so quickly and easily...? Why oh why?
I end up hurting myself innumerable times I do this!
I gotta learn not to trust anybody but myself..
I gotta learn to stand for myself...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone...

Friday, August 22, 2014

Letting go..

Why is it so difficult to let go of things?
Why cannot we forget all the bad, the sorrows , the dark times?
Why do they keep coming back like nightmares?
Why does yesterday haunt today and make tomorrow unbearable?
Why the desire to cry?
Why the need to stay alone?
Why cannot it be all smiles and no tears?
Why is there no "delete the past" button ?
Why does the mind have to refresh what I don't really want to remember?
Why so many why's when all I wanna be is happy?

So many questions, absolutely no answer...
The journey is long and I am tired.. wanna rest..

Friday, April 4, 2014

'D' #A to Z Challenge

Dad... i miss u so much.. i am not strong.. i am a weak gal and i need u to hold me each time i fall... but u r no where near to do that.. why r the distances between us so far that i cannot even talk to you... i am dying to be with u... for u to hold me and tell me everything will be fine... the date still haunts me... our bike... the marks on the road, u,the hospital, the reports, the fir,the death certificate,the court cases, the life insurances... y did u leave us like this dad?? y dad? i need an answer...

This post is a part of the A-Z blogging challenge.


Thursday, April 3, 2014

'C' #A to Z Challenge

'C' is for 'Cindy'

Continuing our tradition of celebrating birthday's at 00:00, I was surprised when Dad did not turn up on my birthday till 11:45pm.. He came late, woke me up and wished me a happy birthday! but I was too sleepy and angry to respond. The next morning he told me to peep under my bed for my gift. To my surprise there was a huge gift pack, almost my size :) It took me an hour to carefully open the beautiful git wrap and to my complete surprise inside lay 'Cindy' , peacefully sleeping. My doll.... my sized doll! She smells awesome, that sweet plastic smell :) She slept with me, changed into my clothes when I wanted to wash hers and even sat on the dinning table for family lunch..
Awww.... I love you Dad and I love you Cindy!!
This post is a part of the A-Z blogging challenge.


'B' #A to Z Challenge

'B' is for 'BIG BANG THEORY'.....
BAZINGAAAAA!!!


In love with the big bang theory show! Its was a custom for K and me to come home, cook and then eat food while watching this show... And no, it din't end at one show, it went on and on till our eyes drooped... Runs and re-runs of the same episodes.. and now we have almost learnt the dialogs :P and say them along when we see them! And this is not all, the mother too has been dragged in the dinner shows and now even she knows Penny and Sheldon!!

This post is a part of the A-Z blogging challenge.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

'A' #A to Z Challenge

'A' is for 'ANGER'
I am angry.. very very angry...
And I have no way out but to keep mum and carry on...
When I registered for the challenge and thought about the word I'd choose was "AWESOME"... but I am so angry that this just seems apt..
I am angry and I wanna blast out at you, for every wrong you are doing to me.. knowingly or unknowingly you have no idea how much this hurts! [I guess you do know you hurt me , that only makes you exponentially increase the hurt and harm]
No songs are soothing me, no words are making me calm, absolutely nothing is making this anger go.. but I know I don't have a choice.. I know I will have to let go.. I know I cannot tell you anything.. I know you won't hear... All I wanna know is whether you are worth all this pain...
Sad [for me, happy for you] but now my heart no more beats to the beats of love!

This post is a part of the A-Z blogging challenge.

Friday, March 28, 2014

The bill

She unlocked the car and saw the bills on the seat. Thinking he'd forgotten them she bought them to her work desk and asked him if he needed them. He answered in the negative telling her it was past office timings and it wouldn't be possible to pay them then.
When he dropped her home, she asked him if he'd keep the bills. He said she could keep them and he'd take them the next day..
The next day he forgot them, so did she.. In the evening he called and scolded her for not giving him the bill. He blamed her for the fine he'd have to pay, just because she was stupid enough to get the bills from the car. She din't know what to do. She got them up thinking he wouldn't have to go till the parking to get them. She thought he had forgotten them.. but anyways she got blamed... She kept the bills at his disk..
The next day she asked him if he had paid the bill, to which he replied bluntly that he din't. All he wanted to do was to clarify certain details... so all the anger for nothing she thought... she had almost cried over the previous evening..
The next day she asked him about the bill. The reply was straight and simple.. The issue had been clarified and no, it din't have anything to do with the office timings as he was to pay it online. And he was not even going to pay it before his pay day..
She wasn't left with any words..
Neither with any more self respect..
Tears flowed....